Humming Bird Feeders

The Maniac on humming bird feeders....


"You're really going to buy another one?  You buy one every year then it leaks on the porch and you get mad at it and throw it down, then kick it and stomp it on the lawn." 

The Negotiator and Grandpa

Summer bike rides with Grandpa.

Tea Pot

Johnny: "I'm a little teapot short and stout.........."

The Maniac:  "Here are my legs and here is my snout.."

Does he even know what a teapot is? 

Ice Cream

The Maniac was scooping ice cream for Johnny.  

Johnny: "Did you just spit in my ice cream?"

The Maniac: "Some of your ice cream got in my mouth."   

When I Was Young

Me: "What year was the Civil war?"

The Maniac: "Man, that was a long time ago.  I can't remember the year."

Birds

The Maniac had just come in from putting his chickens away.  The Negotiator walked in the family room with a strange look on his face to find The Maniac, Johnny, and I. 

Johnny: "What's wrong?"

The Negotiator: "I thought someone was knocking on my window, it must have been a bird."

Johhny: "Birds knock on your window?"

The Negotiator: "Sometimes."

Face

The Maniac: "What did you do to your face?"

Johnny: "I poked myself with a pin."

The Maniac: "I do stuff like that sometimes too."